what now?

i've just move to a place near (sort of)my workplace. finally! it took almost 3 weeks to find a livable place that's within my meager budget. it sure is a lot easier right now because i don't have to wake up at 5:30 am to make it to my 7:30 am class. this morning however, i went to jolibee to buy breakfast and while waiting for my pancakes i suddenly just wanted to cry. i don't want to be here. i want to be somewhere else. i try everyday to just forget this feeling but somehow it treacherously finds its way back to my consciousness and i get really upset. my classes are a welcome relief. i enjoy them.they're many and it's good because i get drowned in the activities i don't have time to think. the drawback however is that papers are now starting to pile up. this is one of those things that make me not like what i'm doing.i escape it whenever i can. right now for example, i am scheduled to collect and reconstructs the syllabi of the socsci department plus prepare my grade sheets, prepare test questions for 4 different subjects, and of course check 3 sets of papers...obviously not fun, not to mention a bit unrealistic to finish. we'll see. i'm just on the syllabi thingies and i've already procrastinated by making this entry. i think it's henry's music that's adding to my depression and reinforcing procrastination mode. i've already left him to draft the criteria for the contest we are holding later this month, also left him with rubrics for grading our students performances. in short i'm free riding anew.things however keep coming. work load keeps ballooning. and it's just been what, three weeks? and this stress. boy was i glad  i went out as often as i could the week i got back. i was glad too for the nice wedding i got to attend.a beautiful,beautiful break to this situation i've put myself into.the night before the wedding was glady's pajama party and monday night, emee called to meet up at lobby bar. wednesday night tina and apol invited me at chinito's opening where i nearly fell asleep in middle of dinner. i don't say no to invitations.i don't want to. i want them to keep coming. they're my escape. a co-teacher invited me to the 100th birthday celeb of her grandmother, dang it i said yes without hesitation. i don't know the lola but what the heck if it's what's gonna help keep my sanity intact then i'm in.

i don't know what happened that iseem tohave lost my direction.i'm afraid for my 30th birthday.